


"Women" Like Us

by Wheely_Jessi



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Acceptance, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Genderfluid Character, Identity Issues, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Nonbinary Character, Queer Culture, References to Canon, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27914788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wheely_Jessi/pseuds/Wheely_Jessi
Summary: Chatting on their favourite bench after a shift together leads Patsy to share something with Delia.Delia is lovelier about it than Patsy dared hope.
Relationships: Delia Busby & Patsy Mount, Delia Busby/Patsy Mount
Comments: 15
Kudos: 28





	"Women" Like Us

Patsy felt extremely conflicted. No, not conflicted. Muddled. Unsure how to feel _at all_ actually – and unsure why. On one level such confusion was, as Cyndi Lauper wisely said, nothing new. There was always the simultaneous thrill of excitement and terror that came with being a couple, even in modern day London, and appeared each time they finished a shift together and then walked home. Habitually stopping to sit on their favourite bench in Poplar Recreation Ground. If it was still open. Which, that night, it was.

And that made it just like any other night, didn’t it?

Usually their time on the bench was so lovely. They talked, or just made the most of the moment to decompress in a neutral space in the (by then early winter) dusk.

But something was different. Perhaps, as they had been joking, it was simply an effect of the full moon. But Patsy didn’t think so. And, from the expression on Delia’s face in the brief pause since a conversation about a patient – or actually her children – had arrived at its natural end, the younger nurse didn’t either.

‘Pats – next time we get to organise the same night off, I want it to coincide with an Aphrodyki event.’

Ah. That explained the tension. It was a relief, but Patsy was also irritated to have read the tone correctly.

‘Why?’

‘Because there are women like us there.’ Delia’s response had shifted from slightly hopeful to exasperated at the apparent obviousness of such reasoning.

But Patsy hardly noticed, having become fixated on the phrase. Or more particularly the collective grouping. And everything clicked into place. The trouble was, to address it required articulating the realisation – which wasn’t sudden at all, really, but just no longer seemed possible to ignore.

And that was scary.

It hadn’t been part of the plan to bring it up any time soon.

But the wording was nauseating.

Almost literally.

So something had to be said.

‘We’ve discussed this. I don’t want to be with “women like us”, I just want to be with you.’

It was subtle, but emphatic enough (hopefully) to get the message across.

Delia’s answer didn’t suggest she’d picked up on the significance, though. ‘We can hold hands there. Dance there. Be in a crowd and be invisible. There are so few spaces left now, and I know how much you struggle in public, especially since the bus attack –’

That put an end to that. The _bench_ was their space, and it didn’t need to be ruined by the mention of that horrifying reminder that homophobia was not just alive but very definitely kicking.

‘I’m sorry.’

The pause after that was anything but natural, and felt awful.

So Patsy tried again. Holding out the proverbial olive branch by being more specific. ‘I really am sorry, Deels. I’m just not sure I’d fit in somewhere like that. I’m not sure I fit at all, any more, honestly. But particularly not under a label like “women”.’

A third pause was necessary to drag in a quick breath. And in the time it took to add, ‘I’m also sorry I haven’t said anything before now,’ Delia was talking too.

‘I’m so sorry I wasn’t meaning to be exclusionary –’

They giggled sheepishly about speaking over each other. Then, encouraged by the smile on Delia’s face that showed the last of her exasperation had been chased away, Patsy went on. ‘I’m not sure where I’ll settle just yet, or _if_ I ever will. I just know I’m somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, and it’ll be a journey. But, if you’ll still have me, it’ll mean a lot if you’ll be by my side as I go on it.’

The last bit was said very quietly. But Delia must’ve heard, because she reached out, and Patsy was comforted by a gentle caress as she said, ‘Of course I will, Pats. I love you. Besides, Patience is a gender neutral name in my understanding anyway. You know us Welsh only ever give it to boys. But if you decide it doesn’t fit for you, that’s fine too. Okay?’ Patsy nodded, because it was obvious the question wasn’t rhetorical. Then Delia winked, clearly aware help was needed. ‘This doesn’t get you out of Aphrodyki, mind. They welcome trans and non-binary people too.’

Patsy rolled their eyes, thinking as they did so how nice the pronoun sounded, even playing around with it in their head. But then, emboldened by the moon, and the dark, and the kindness – they realised they only had one emotion left: gratitude. So, moving along the bench, they put it across with a kiss.

Sometimes, even when you had the right words, it turned out none were necessary.

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another example of me processing stuff through fic - though this time on the sweet and fluffy side, for once. This fandom has been so supportive as I've come to terms with aspects of my own identity, and I've been nudged to post this in case it helps someone else. Particular thanks to Echo7, Jojo_Is_A_Hedgehog and CactusPlantPot for their kind and generous feedback. Come and join us on the Discord. Instructions here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27273784
> 
> Context note: Aphrodyki is a real event/night, if anyone's interested, although it isn't happening at the moment - http://aphrodyki.com/


End file.
